his house in the evening。 I never once thought of the assembly， nor that
we subalterns did not belong to such society。 Well， I dined with the
count ； and， after dinner ， we adjourned to the large hall。 We walked
up and down together： and I conversed with him ， and with Colonel B
——， who joined us； and in this manner the hour for the assembly approached。
God knows ， I was thinking of nothing， when who should enter but the
honourable Lady acpanied by her noble husband and their silly， scheming
daughter， with her small waist and flat neck ； and， with disdainful
looks and a haughty air they passed me by。 As I heartily detest the whole
race， I determined upon going away ； and only waited till the count
had disengaged himself from their impertinent prattle ， to take leave，
when the agreeable Miss B —— came in。 As I never meet her without experiencing
a heartfelt pleasure， I stayed and talked to her ， leaning over the
back of her chair ， and did not perceive ， till after some time ， that
she seemed a little confused， and ceased to answer me with her usual
ease of manner。 I was struck with it。 〃Heavens！〃 I said to myself， 〃can
she ， too， be like the rest ？〃 I felt annoyed， and was about to withdraw
； but I remained ， notwithstanding， forming excuses for her conduct，
fancying she did not mean it， and still hoping to receive some friendly
recognition。 The rest of the pany now arrived。 There was the Baron
F ——， in an entire suit that dated from the coronation of Francis I。
； the Chancellor N ——， with his deaf wife ； the shabbily…dressed
I ——， whose old…fashioned coat bore evidence of modern repairs ： this
crowned the whole。 I conversed with some of my acquaintances， but they
answered me laconically。 I was engaged in observing Miss B——， and did
not notice that the women were whispering at the end of the room， that
the murmur extended by degrees to the men ， that Madame S—— addressed
the count with much warmth（this was all related to me subsequently by
Miss B——）； till at length the count came up to me ， and took me to
the window。 〃You know our ridiculous customs，〃 he said。 〃I perceive the
pany is rather displeased at your being here。 I would not on any account
——〃 〃I beg your excellency's pardon ！〃 I exclaimed。 〃I ought to have
thought of this before， but I know you will forgive this little inattention。
I was going ，〃 I added ， 〃some time ago ， but my evil genius detained
me。〃 And I smiled and bowed ， to take my leave。 He shook me by the hand，
in a manner which expressed everything。 I hastened at once from the illustrious
assembly， sprang into a carriage ， and drove to M ——。 I contemplated
the setting sun from the top of the hill， and read that beautiful passage
in Homer， where Ulysses is entertained by the hospitable herdsmen。 This
was indeed delightful。 I returned home to supper in the evening。 But few
persons were assembled in the room。 They had turned up a corner of the
table…cloth ， and were playing at dice。 The good…natured A —— came
in。 He laid down his hat when he saw me ， approached me， and said in
a low tone， 〃You have met with a disagreeable adventure。〃 〃I ！〃 I exclaimed。
〃The count obliged you to withdraw from the assembly！〃 〃Deuce take the
assembly！〃 said I。 〃I was very glad to be gone。〃 〃I am delighted ，〃
he added， 〃that you take it so lightly。 I am only sorry that it is already
so much spoken of。〃 The circumstance then began to pain me。 I fancied
that every one who sat down ， and even looked at me， was thinking of
this incident ； and my heart became embittered。
And now I could plunge a dagger into my bosom ， when I hear myself
everywhere pitied ， and observe the triumph of my enemies， who say that
this is always the case with vain persons ， whose heads are turned with
conceit ， who affect to despise forms and such petty ， idle nonsense。
Say what you will of fortitude， but show me the man who can patiently
endure the laughter of fools， when they have obtained an advantage over
him。 'Tis only when their nonsense is without foundation that one can
suffer it without plaint。
MARCH 16。 Everything conspires against me。 I met Miss B —— walking
to…day。 I could not help joining her； and， when we were at a little
distance from her panions， I expressed my sense of her altered manner
toward me。 〃O Werther ！〃 she said， in a tone of emotion ， 〃you ， who
know my heart ， how could you so ill interpret my distress ？ What did
I not suffer for you， from the moment you entered the room ！ I foresaw
it all， a hundred times was I on the point of mentioning it to you。 I
knew that the S ——s and T ——s ， with their husbands， would quit
the room， rather than remain in your pany。 I knew that the count would
not break with them ： and now so much is said about it。〃 〃How！〃 I exclaimed，
and endeavoured to conceal my emotion ； for all that Adelin had mentioned
to me yesterday recurred to me painfully at that moment。 〃Oh， how much
it has already cost me！〃 said this amiable girl， while her eyes filled
with tears。 I could scarcely contain myself ， and was ready to throw
myself at her feet。 〃Explain yourself ！〃 I cried。 Tears flowed down her
cheeks。 I became quite frantic。 She wiped them away ， without attempting
to conceal them。 〃You know my aunt，〃 she continued ； 〃she was present
： and in what light does she consider the affair ！ Last night ， and
this morning， Werther， I was pelled to listen to a lecture upon my，
acquaintance with you。 I have been obliged to hear you condemned and depreciated
； and I could not—— I dared not—— say much in your defence。〃
Every word she uttered was a dagger to my heart。 She did not feel
what a mercy it would have been to conceal everything from me。 She told
me， in addition， all the impertinence that would be further circulated，
and how the malicious would triumph ； how they would rejoice over the
punishment of my pride， over my humiliation for that want of esteem for
others with which I had often been reproached。 To hear all this ， Wilhelm，
uttered by her in a voice of the most sincere sympathy， awakened all
my passions ； and I am still in a state of extreme excitement。 I wish
I could find a man to jeer me about this event。 I would sacrifice him
to my resentment。 The sight of his blood might possibly be a relief to
my fury。 A hundred times have I seized a dagger ， to give ease to this
oppressed heart。 Naturalists tell of a noble race of horses that instinctively
open a vein with their teeth， when heated and exhausted by a long course，
in order to breathe more freely。 I am often tempted to open a vein， to
procure for myself everlasting liberty。
MARCH 24。 I have tendered my resignation to the court。 I hope it will
be accepted ， and you will forgive me for not having previously consulted
you。 It is necessary I should leave this place。 I know all you will urge
me to stay， and therefore I beg you will soften this news to my mother。
I am unable to do anything for myself ： how， then ， should I be petent
to assist others？ It will afflict her that I sh