protect the innocent。 Namely； me。
hey people！
A not…so…private party at the yale club
In case you were feeling left out of Saturday？s Yale Club all…day…and…all…night festival of
debauchery？they certainly kept the staff busy trotting over to Grand Central for more Prosecco
from the Campbell Apartment and cheesecake from Junior？s？a certain Yalie…to…be will host the
graduation party of a lifetime at the club next Monday night。 The Yale Club is strictly
members…only； but never fear。 Yalie Daddy has paid the club handsomely to keeps its doors open
all night long to any well…dressed merrymaker who wanders in looking for more ways to make
merry。 It？s his way of apologizing to his daughter for not being there in the flesh。 Aw； how sweet。
Let？s hope he doesn？t forget that she will also need some way of getting around New Haven next
year。 Vroom； vroom。
Postbreakfast depression
Ken Mogul is either extremely fussy； extremely mean； or both。 Rumor has it that only four girls
were called back for a second audition for the lead role in his new feature film；Breakfast at Fred？s 。
Another rumor is that he？s casting his younger sister in the Holly Golightly part and the casting on
Saturday was actually just for extras。 What a waste of talent。
An arranged marriage
We？ve all heard about how the British royals have a penchant for arranged marriages。 It saves a
lot of trouble and embarrassment when no one has to sneak around or worry about introducing
their socially inept； badly dressed girlfriend to their mom； who happens to be the queen。 Well；
according to my sources in the U。K。； a certain blue…blooded English hunk； who recently graduated
from Yale and is currently residing at the Yale Club while he finishes up some business？aka
partying？in New York before going home for the summer； has been betrothed to an equally royal
English girl since he was barely two years old。 I haven？t seen a picture of her； but having
witnessed how quickly he snapped up ourB ； my guess is she？s probably not much of a looker； and
he？s probably not too thrilled about marrying her。
Thief of stolen goods identified
Not that I want to be the bearer of more bad news； but my coach friend has been e…mailing me
regularly？hey； who gave him this link？！？and apparently the Viagra perp has been identified and
will be punished accordingly。 Does that mean he/she won？t graduate？？
Your e…mail
Q： Dear GG；
I know I shouldn？t have； but I kind of told on one of my pals and now I？m worried he？s not
gonna graduate cuz of me。 I just thought； better him than me； you know？
？lamo
A： Dear lamo；
Yeah； that was kind of lamo。 But you know that already。
？GG
Q： Dear Gossip Girl；
I wanted to personally invite you to try out for my new movie。 You have the attitude I？m looking
for。 Hopefully you have the look。 When r u available？
？mogs
A： Dear mogs；
Nice try。
？GG
Sightings
B； S； N；andLord M atCipriani Dolci across from theYale Club ； drinking Bloody Marys at
Sunday brunch。 They certainly know how to prepare for finals！V withA in his redSaab ；
pretending not to notice when they almost ran overD crossing Houston Street on their way to a
movie at theAngelika 。D was on his way back from one of those Chinese herbalists on Canal
Street； carrying a small pouch of what was advertised as ？Love Potion XXX。？ Oh； the tangled web
we weave。J alone in the Gristedes on West Ninety…sixth Street buying a liter screw…top bottle of
red wine and a jumbo…size can of Folgers instant crystals。 Her clothes and hands were smeared
with what looked like gray eye shadow； coffee； and wine。 Obviously； she？s so dedicated to her art；
they didn？t dare card her。
One more week to go
So this is it； my sweetnesses？the final stretch。 Aside from exams； which are just trivial
annoyances really； school is essentially over。 Repeat after me： only one week till graduation。 Only
one week till graduation。 Only one week till graduation。
Good luck！！！！
You know you love me。
gossip girl
D writes another ode
Dan finished his AP English exam with twenty minutes to spare and began rewriting his
graduation speech about love in the back of his blue book。 This time he planned on quoting from
Robert Frost？s poem ？The Road Not Taken？：
Two roads diverged in a wood； and I？
I took the one less traveled by；
And that has made all the difference。
The words sounded sterile and entirely overused to him； though； especially in the context of
graduation。 Besides； neither he nor his classmates were actually taking the road less traveled。 They
were graduating and going straight to college。 And how boring was that？ The truth was； it had
never really occurred to him to do anything else。 Until now。
He？d been battling with the notion for days that e fall； Vanessa would be here in New York
and he would be there； in Olympia； Washington？on the other side of the country。 The thought was
unbearable to him； even though he was still unsure of Vanessa？s true feelings for him； especially
after she？d so brusquely dismissed him the other night the minute Aaron had e home and had
proceeded to not call him all weekend。
But maybe he was the one who hadn？t been clear。 He？d already told that nutty professor he？d
decided not to spend the summer working in Olympia。 Why not take it one step further and
announce to everyone at graduation that he wasn？t going to college； period。 That would show
Vanessa； and the world； how far he was willing to go？for love。 He would take the road less
traveled by。
Dan turned the page and scribbled the wordsOde on Love ； modeling his new poem on those of
his favorite poet； John Keats。 Keats wrote odes all the time： ？Ode to Psyche；？ ？Ode on a Grecian
Urn；？ ？Ode to a Nightingale；？ ？Ode on Melancholy；？ but never an ？Ode on Love。？ So why
shouldn？t Dan be the one to do it？
？Seventeen minutes to go；？ Ms。 Solomon called out。 Dan glanced up at the stiff backs of his
classmates bent over their desks； pens working frantically as the black wall clock ticked the
minutes by。 He went back to his blue book。 ？Ode on Love。？ Of course； his love for Vanessa was
mixed with a heavy dose of undying lust。 But how to convey that without sounding pornographic？
After all； the poem was supposed to be part of his graduation speech。
Your milky white orbs；
The pillows of your stomach；
Thighs like birches。
Ew； enough！！
He drew a heavyX across the words。The pillows of your stomach？ Yuck。
Exactly。
Then he remembered the lines from ？Ode on a Grecian Urn？：
More happy love！ more happy； happy love！
Forever warm and still to be enjoyed
Forever panting； and forever young；
All breathing human passion far above；
That leaves a heart high…sorrowful and cloyed；
A burning forehead and a parching tongue。
Was there any better way to say it？
Probably not。
Dan began to sketch a picture of the water tower on top of Vanessa？s building； but he was no
artist and his water tower looked more like a giant acorn。 If only he were allowed to use his phone
during exams。 He could call the Evergreen admissions office and let t