“What have I been up to？” Serena repeated。 She giggled。 “If you
only knew； Nate。 I’ve been so； so bad！”
Nate clenched his fists involuntarily。 Man oh man； had he missed
her。
Ignored as usual； Chuck slunk away from Serena and Nate and
crossed the room to Blair； who was once again standing with Kati
and Isabel。
“A thousand bucks says she got kicked out；” Chuck told them。 “And
doesn’t she look fucked？ I think she’s been thoroughly fucked。
Maybe she had some sort of prostitution ring going on up there。 The
Merry Madam of Hanover Academy；” he added； laughing at his own
stupid joke。
“I think she looks kind of spaced out； too；” Kati said。 “Maybe she’s
on heroin。”
“Or some prescription drug；” Isabel said。 “You know； like； Valium or
Prozac。 Maybe she’s gone totally nuts。”
“She could’ve been making her own E；” Kati agreed。 “She was
always good at science。”
“I heard she joined some kind of cult；” Chuck offered。 “Like； she’s
been brainwashed and now all she thinks about is sex and she like；
has to do it all the time。”
When is dinner going to be ready？ Blair wondered； tuning out her
friends’ ridiculous speculations。
She had forgotten how pretty Serena’s hair was。 How perfect her
skin was。 How long and thin her legs were。 What Nate’s eyes looked
like when he looked at her—like he never wanted to blink。 He never
looked at Blair that way。
“Hey Blair； Serena must have told you she was ing back；”
Chuck said。 “e on； tell us。 What’s the deal？”
Blair stared back at him blankly； her small； fox…like face turning red。
The truth was； she hadn’t really spoken to Serena in over a year。
At first； when Serena had gone to boarding school after sophomore
year； Blair had really missed her。 But it soon became apparent how
much easier it was to shine without Serena around。 Suddenly Blair
was the prettiest； the smartest； the hippest； most happening girl in
the room。 She became the one everyone looked to。 So Blair stopped
missing Serena so much。 She’d felt a little guilty for not staying in
touch； but even that had worn off when she’d received Serena’s flip
and impersonal e…mails describing all the fun she was having at
boarding school。
“Hitchhiked to Vermont to go snowboarding and spent the nightdancing with the hottest guys！”
“Crazy night last night。 Damn； my head hurts！”
The last news Blair had received was a postcard this past summer：
“Blair： Turned seventeen on Bastille Day。 France rocks！！ Miss you！！！
Love； Serena；” was all it said。
Blair had tucked the postcard into her old Fendi shoebox with all the
other mementos from their friendship。 A friendship she would
cherish forever； but which she’d thought of as over until now。
Serena was back。 The lid was off the shoebox； and everything would
go back to the way it was before she left。 As always； it would be
Serena and Blair； Blair and Serena； with Blair playing the smaller；
fatter； mousier； less witty best friend of the blond über…girl； Serena
van der Woodsen。
Or not。 Not if Blair could help it。
“You must be so excited Serena’s here！” Isabel chirped。 But when
she saw the look on Blair’s face； she changed her tune。 “Of course
Constance took her back。 It’s so typical。 They’re too desperate to
lose any of us。” Isabel lowered her voice。 “I heard last spring Serena
was fooling around with some townie up in New Hampshire。 She had
an abortion；” she added。
“I bet it wasn’t her first one either；” Chuck said。 “Just look at her。”
And so they did。 All four of them looked at Serena； who was still
chatting happily with Nate。 Chuck saw the girl he’d wanted to sleep
with since he could remember wanting to sleep with girls—first
grade； maybe？ Kati saw the girl she’d been copying since she
started shopping for her own clothes—third grade？ Isabel saw the
girl who’d gotten to be an angel with wings made out of real
feathers at the Church of the Heavenly Rest Christmas pageant；
while Isabel was a lowly shepherd and had to wear a burlap sack。
Third grade again。 Both Kati and Isabel saw the girl who would
inevitably steal Blair away from them and leave them with only
each other； which was too dull to even think about。 And Blair saw
Serena； her best friend； the girl she would always love and hate。
The girl she could never measure up to and had tried so hard to
replace。 The girl she’d wanted everyone to forget。
For about ten seconds Blair thought about telling her friends the
truth： She didn’t know Serena was ing back。 But how would that
look？ Blair was supposed to be plugged in； and how plugged in
would she sound if she admitted she knew nothing about Serena’s
return； while her friends seemed to know so much？ Blair couldn’t
very well stand there and say nothing。 That would be too obvious。
She always had something to say。 Besides； who wanted to hear the
truth when the truth was so incredibly boring？ Blair lived for drama。
Here was her chance。
Blair cleared her throat。 “It all happened very 。 。 。 suddenly；” she
said mysteriously。
She looked down and fiddled with the little ruby ring on the middle
finger of her right hand。 The film was rolling； and Blair was getting
warmed up。
“I think Serena is pretty messed up about it。 But I promised her I
wouldn’t say anything；” she added。
Her friends nodded as if they understood pletely。 It sounded
serious and juicy； and best of all it sounded like Serena had
confided everything to Blair。 If only Blair could script the rest of the
movie； she’d wind up with the boy for sure。 And Serena could play
the girl who falls off the cliff and cracks her skull on a rock and is
eaten alive by hungry vultures； never to be seen again。
“Careful； Blair；” Chuck warned； nodding at Serena and Nate； who
were still talking in low voices over by the wet bar； their eyes never
straying from each other’s faces。 “Looks like Serena’s already found
her next victim。”
Serena was holding Nate’s hand loosely in hers； swinging it back
and forth。
“Remember Buck Naked？” she asked him； laughing softly。
Nate chuckled； still embarrassed； even after all these years。 Buck
Naked was Nate’s alter ego； invented at a party in eighth grade；
when most of them had gotten drunk for the first time。 After
drinking six beers； Nate had taken his shirt off； and Serena and Blair
had drawn a goofy； buck…toothed face on his torso in black marker。
For some reason the face brought out the devil in Nate； and he
started a drinking game。 Everyone sat in a circle and Nate stood in
the middle； holding a Latin textbook and shouting out verbs for
them to conjugate。 The first person to mess up had to drink and kiss
Buck Naked。 Of course they all messed up； boys and girls alike； so
Buck got a lot of action that night。 The next morning； Nate tried to
pretend it hadn’t happened； but the proof was inked on his skin。 It
took weeks for Buck to wash off in the shower。
“And what about the Red Sea？” Serena said。 She studied Nate’s
face。 Neither of them was smiling now。
“The Red Sea；” Nate repeated； drowning in the deep blue la