安妮日记英文版_安妮·弗兰克- 第66节

oh；　ive　failed　miserably。　this　is　the　worst　thing　ive　ever　done　in　my　entire　life。　i　used　my　tears　to　show　off；　to　make　myself　seem　important　so　hed　respect　me。　ive　certainly　had　my　share　of　unhappiness；　and　everything　i　said　about　mother　is　true。　but　to　accuse　pim；　whos　so　good　and　whos　done　everything　for　me…no；　that　was　too　cruel　for　words。

its　good　that　somebody　has　finally　cut　me　down　to　size；　has　broken　my　pride；　because　ive　been　far　too　smug。　not　everything　mistress　anne　does　is　good！　any…　one　who　deliberately　causes　such　pain　to　someone　they　say　they　love　is　despicable；　the　lowest　of　the　low！

what　im　most　ashamed　of　is　the　way　father　has　forgiven　me；　he　said　hes　going　to　throw　the　letter　in　the　stove；　and　hes　being　so　nice　to　me　now；　as　if　he　were　the　one　whod　done　something　wrong。　well；　anne；　you　still　have　a　lot　to　learn。　its　time　you　made　a　beginning；　in…　stead　of　looking　down　at　others　and　always　giving　them　the　blame！

ive　known　a　lot　of　sorrow；　but　who　hasnt　at　my　age？　ive　been　putting　on　an　act；　but　was　hardly　even　aware　of　it。　ive　felt　lonely；　but　never　desperate！　not　like　father；　who　once　ran　out　into　the　street　with　a　knife　so　he　could　put　an　end　to　it　all。　ive　never　gone　that　far。

i　should　be　deeply　ashamed　of　myself；　and　i　am。　whats　done　cant　be　undone；　but　at　least　you　can　keep　it　from　happening　again。　id　like　to　start　all　over；　and　that　shouldnt　be　difficult；　now　that　i　have　peter。　with　him　supporting　me；　i　know　i　can　do　it！　im　not　alone　anymore。　he　loves　me；　i　love　him；　i　have　my　books；　my　writing　and　my　diary。　im　not　all　that　ugly；　or　that　stupid；　i　have　a　sunny　disposition；　and　i　want　to　develop　a　good　character！

yes；　anne；　you　knew　full　well　that　your　letter　was　unkind　and　untrue；　but　you　were　actually　proud　of　it！　ill　take　father　as　my　example　once　again；　and　i　will　improve　myself。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

monday；　may　8；　1944

dearest　kitty；

have　i　ever　told　you　anything　about　our　family？　i　dont　think　i　have；　so　let　me　begin。

father　was　born　in　frankfurt　am　main　to　very　wealthy　parents：　michael　frank　owned

a　bank　and　became　a　millionaire；　and　alice　sterns　parents　were　prominent　and　well…to…do。　michael　frank　didnt　start　out　rich；　he　was　a　self…made　man。　in　his　youth　father　led　the　life　of　a　rich　mans　son。　parties　every　week；　balls；　banquets；　beautiful　girls；　waltzing；　dinners；　a　huge　house；　etc。　after　grandpa　died；　most　of　the　money　was　lost；　and　after　the　great　war　and　inflation　there　was　nothing　left　at　all。　up　until　the　war　there　were　still　quite　a　few　rich　relatives。　so　father　was　extremely　well…bred；　and　he　had　to　laugh　yesterday　because　for　the　first　time　in　his　fifty…five　years；　he　scraped　out　the　frying　pan　at　the　table。

mothers　family　wasnt　as　wealthy；　but　still　fairly　well…off；　and　weve　listened　openmouthed　to　stories　of　private　balls；　dinners　and　engagement　parties　with　250　guests。

were　far　from　rich　now；　but　ive　pinned　all　my　hopes　on　after　the　war。　i　can　assure　you；　im　not　so　set　on　a　bourgeois　life　as　mother　and　margot。　id　like　to　spend　a　year　in　paris　and　london　learning　the　languages　and　studying　art　history。　pare　that　with　margot；　who　wants　to　nurse　newborns　in　palestine。　i　still　have　visions　of　gorgeous　dresses　and　fascinating　people。　as　ive　told　you　many　times　before；　i　want　to　see　the　world　and　do　all　kinds　of　exciting　things；　and　a　little　money　wont　hurt！

this　morning　miep　told　us　about　her　cousins　engagement　party；　which　she　went　to　on　saturday。　the　cousins　parents　are　rich；　and　the　grooms　are　even　richer。　miep　made　our　mouths　water　telling　us　about　the　food　that　was　served：　vegetable　soup　with　meatballs；　cheese；　rolls　with　sliced　meat；　hors　doeuvres　made　with　eggs　and　roast　beef；　rolls　with　cheese；　genoise；　wine　and　cigarettes；　and　you　could　eat　as　much　as　you　wanted。

miep　drank　ten　schnapps　and　smoked　three　cigarettes　　could　this　be　our　temperance　advocate？　if　miep　drank　all　those；　i　wonder　how　many　her　spouse　managed　to　toss　down？　everyone　at　the　party　was　a　little　tipsy；　of　course。　there　were　also　two　officers　from　the　homicide　squad；　who　took　photographs　of　the　wedding　couple。　you　can　see　were　never　far　from　mieps　thoughts；　since　she　promptly　noted　their　names　and　addresses　in　case　anything　should　happen　and　we　needed　contacts　with　good　dutch　people。

our　mouths　were　watering　so　much。　we；　whod　had　nothing　but　two　spoonfuls　of　hot　cereal　for　breakfast　and　were　absolutely　famished；　we；　who　get　nothing　but　half…cooked　spinach　（for　the　vitamins！）　and　rotten　pota…　toes　day　after　day；　we；　who　fill　our　empty　stomachs　with　nothing　but　boiled　lettuce；　raw　lettuce；　spinach；　spinach　and　more　spinach。　maybe　well　end　up　being　as　strong　as　popeye；　though　up　to　now　ive　seen　no　sign　of　it！

if　miep　had　taken　us　along　to　the　party；　there　wouldnt　have　been　any　rolls　left　over　for　the　other　guests。　if　wed　been　there；　wed　have　snatched　up　everything　in　sight；　including　the　furniture。　i　tell　you；　we　were　practically　pulling　the　words　right　out　of　her　mouth。　we　were　gathered　around　her　as　if　wed　never　in　all　our　lives　heard　of鈥�

delicious　food　or　elegant　people！　and　these　are　the　granddaughters　of　the　distinguished　millionaire。　the　world　is　a　crazy　place！

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

tuesday；　may　9；　1944

dearest　kitty；

ive　finished　my　story　about　ellen；　the　fairy。　ive　copied　it　out　on　nice　notepaper；　decorated　it　with　red　ink　and　sewn　the　pages　together。　the　whole　thing　looks　quite　pretty；　but　i　dont　know　if　its　enough　of　a　birthday　present。　margot　and　mother　have　both　written　poems。

mr。　kugler　came　upstairs　this　afternoon　with　the　news　that　starting　monday；　mrs。

broks　would　like　to　spend　two　hours　in　the　office　every　afternoon。　just　imagine！　the　office　staff　wont　be　able　to　e　upstairs；　the　potatoes　cant　be　delivered；　bep　wont　get　her　dinner；　we　cant　go　to　the　bathroom；　we　wont　be　able　to　move　and　all　sorts　of　other　inconveniences！　we　proposed　a　variety　of　ways　to　get　rid　of　her。　mr。　van　daan　thought　a　good　laxative　in　her　coffee　might　do　the　trick。　〃no；〃　mr。　kleiman　answered；　〃please　dont；　or　well　never　get　her　off　the　can。

a　roar　of　laughter。　〃the　can？〃　mrs。　van　d。　asked。　〃what　does　that　mean？〃　an　explanation　was　given。　〃is　it　all　right　to　use　that　word？〃　she　asked　in　perfect　innocence。　〃just　imagine；〃　bep　giggled；　〃there　you　are　shopping　at　the　bijenkorf　and　you　ask　the　way　to　the　can。　they　wouldnt　even　know　what　you　were　talking　about！鈥�

dussel　now　sits　on　the　〃can；〃　to　borrow　the　expression；　every　day　at　twelve…thirty　on　the　dot。　this　afternoon　i　boldly　took　a　piece　of　pink　paper　and　wrote：

mr。　dussels　toilet　timetable　mornings　from　7：　15　to　7：30　a。m。

afternoons　after　1　p。m。

otherwise；　only　as　needed！

i　tacked　this　to　the　green　bathroom　door　while　he　was　still　inside。　i　might　well　have　added　transgressors　will　be　subject　to　confinement！〃　because　our　bathroom　can　be　locked　from　both　the　inside　and　the　outside。

mr。　van　daans　latest　joke：

after　a　bible　lesson　about　adam　and　eve；　a　thirteen…year…old　boy　asked　his　father；　〃tell　me；　father；　how　did　i　get　born？鈥�

〃well；〃　the　father　replied；　〃the　stork　plucked　you　out　of　the　ocean；　set　you　down　in　mothers　bed　and　bit　her　in　the　leg；　hard。　it　bled　so　much　she