A rating for this trait。 Self…reliance is not how you feel or how good you are； rather； it’s whether you have the gumption to take definitive action to get things moving in your life。 It includes plain old willpower and the ability to get goals。
Two…thirds of the respondents say they’ve had clear goals for their lives and careers。 And half of those we interviewed give themselves an A in willpower。 Among other capabilities； willpower enpasses the ability to be a self…starter and to persevere after a project has begun。
General intelligence This is essential for outstanding achievement because it involves your natural ability to prehend difficult concepts quickly and to analyze them clearly and incisively。 At least that’s the way our respondents see it—43 percent say it is a very important ingredient of their success； and another 52 percent say it is fairly important。
Ability to get things done Nearly three…fourths of our high achievers rank themselves“very efficient” in acplish tasks。 And they agree that at least three important qualities have helped them to do so： organizational ability； good work habits and diligence。
A physics professor summarizes his success formula this way，“Sheer hard； tenacious work； with the ability to pace oneself。” He admits working up to 100 hours a week。
Besides the five listed here； there are other factors that influence success： leadership； creativity； relationships with others； and； of course； luck。 But mon sense； knowing your field； self…reliance； intelligence and the ability to get things done stand out。 If you cultivate these traits； chances are you’ll succeed。 And you might even find yourself listed in Who’s Who someday。
没有错误，只有教训
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人的成长是一个不断尝试，不断经历失败，又不断获得新知的过程。每次，当你信心十足，准备采取行动时，对于会有什么样的结果发生，你无从知晓——或许成功，或许失败。然而，失败并不意味着毫无价值。事实上，我们往往能从失败中学到更多的东西。
假如你犯了一个错误，或是未达到自己所期望的标准，你很可能会在真我与所谓的犯错者之间构筑一道壁垒。然而，对以往的行为全盘否定，势必会让你感到内疚、自责。深陷其中，你就不可能从中汲取有益的东西。因此，过分苛求自己时，最需要的就是自我宽恕。
宽恕就是放下情感上的包袱，抹平心灵上的创伤。它有四种类型：
第一种是对自己的初级宽恕。
第二种是对他人的初级宽恕。
第三种是对自己更深层次的宽恕。这种宽恕是针对自己深感羞愧的极大恶行而言。如果你所做的事有悖于自己的价值观和道德观，这时，你就在自己的为人准则和实际行动间制造了一道裂痕。这种情况下，你就必须努力悔改，以此来弥补过错，并要重新找到自我。当然，这并不是说你可以随意原谅自己，毫无悔意，但一味地埋怨自己是不健康的，过分地自我惩罚只会让你偏离自己道德准则的轨道越来越远。
第四种可能是最难的一种宽恕——是对他人更深层次的宽恕。生活中，你也许会受到极大委屈和伤害。以此来看，这似乎是不可原谅的。但是，心怀怨恨、企图报复只会使你陷于受伤害的阴影中。在这种情况下，你就要强迫自己放宽胸怀。只有这样，才能把注意力转移开来，不至于一味地沉浸在恼怒和仇恨中。只有做到宽恕，你才能忘却过错，净化心灵。于是，当你最终把自己解脱出来时，很自然地，你就会把它看成是成长过程中必不可少的一部分。
There Are No Mistakes； Only Lessons
Anonymous
Human growth is a process of experimentation； trial； and error； ultimately leading to wisdom。 Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action； you can never quite be certain how the situation will turn out。 Sometimes you are victorious； and some times you bee disillusioned。 The failed experiments； however； are no less valuable than the experiments that ultimately prove successful； in fact； you usually learn more from your perceived “failures” than you do from your perceived “successes”。
If you have made what you perceive to be a mistake； or failed to live up to your own expectations； you will most likely put up a barrier between your essence and the part of you that is the alleged wrong doer。 However； perceiving past actions as mistakes implies guilt and blame； and it is not possible to learn anything meaningful while you are engaged in blaming。 Therefore； forgiveness is required when you are harshly judging yourself。
Forgiveness is the act of erasing an emotional debt。 There are four kinds of forgiveness：
The first is beginner forgiveness for you。
The second kind of forgiveness is beginner forgiveness for another。
The third kind of forgiveness is advanced forgiveness of yourself。 This is for serious transgressions1； the ones you carry with deep shame。 When you do something that violates your own values and ethics； you create a chasm2 between your standards and your actual behavior。 In such a case； you need to work very hard at forgiving yourself for these deeds so that you can close this chasm and realign with the best part of yourself。 This does not mean that you should rush to forgive yourself or not feel regret or remorse； but wallowing in these feelings for a protracted3 period of time is not healthy； and punishing yourself excessively will only creates a bigger gap between you and your ethics。
The last and perhaps most difficult one is the advanced forgiveness of another。 At some time of our life； you may have been severely wronged or hurt by another person to such a degree that forgiveness seems impossible。 However； harboring resentment and revenge fantasies only keeps you trapped in victimhood。 Under such a circumstance； you should force yourself to see the bigger picture； by so doing； you will be able to shift the focus away from the anger and resentment。 It is only through forgiveness that you can erase wrongdoing4 and clean the memory。 When you can finally release the situation； you may e to see it as a necessary part of your growth。
成功的准则
书包 网 。 想看书来
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成功是什么？
我并不打算诠释成功的概念，我认为要精确地下一个定义是不可能的。成功是在奥运会上赢得金牌或赢得温布尔登大奖赛，或被授予诺贝尔奖或是其他的什么吗？我认为，个人的成功其实可以是任何事情——它不必受到公众的认可。不快乐的百万富翁，或者被忽视的人过着简单而又快乐的生活，谁更成功呢？成功最简单的定义，我认为是“开始做某件事，并在做的过程中获得成就感”。至于具体做什么，做的事情有多么渺小，都不重要。
相信自己能成功，你就会获得成功。也许，生活的目标就是，无论你选择在哪个方面，都努力地去达到成功。因为它使你从烦恼中解脱出来，不是吗？
对于我们每一个人来说，成功的意义都有所不同。一些人认为要用金融数目来衡量，比如，拥有财富；另一些人认为是乐于助人，而不是帮助自己。也许两者兼而有之，或者，只是为了达到目的而已，成功是个人的事。对很多人来说，成功是他们生存的根本——我们存在的理由就是要去完成生命中一些有价值的事。对很大一部分人来说，他们想成功与否无关紧要；而对于我来说，也无所谓。只要这是你真正想要的，并能使你快乐地生活。但是，很多人则渴望并激励自己去追求公众的认可和残酷的竞争得到的成果。多少人会真正快乐呢？多少人是真正在做他们想做的事呢？（附带一句，有能力想象使我们有别于动物。）
不论是什么激发你个人的追求，不论你选择一生做什么，不要期待立刻成功。多年的奋斗、努力和学习如何选择你奋斗的领域或者职业，这并不是一件容易的事。我完全同意这个观点。要想在任何一个领域获得成功，都需要勇气、品质和自律。所有成功的人几乎都曾在某方面怀疑过自己，并想过要放弃。但是，他们坚持了下来。在离矿井中的金矿层仅有一或两英尺的时候，很多人却放弃了，与成功仅有一步之遥。可以肯定的是：成功孕育成功�