《简爱(英文版)》

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简爱(英文版)- 第19节


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acpaniment of secret tears; forced from me by the exigency of hunger。
Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season。 We had to walk two miles to Brocklebridge Church; where our patron officiated。 We set out cold; we arrived at church colder: during the morning service we became almost paralysed。 It was too far to return to dinner; and an allowance of cold meat and bread; in the same penurious proportion observed in our ordinary meals; was served round between the services。
At the close of the afternoon service we returned by an exposed and hilly road; where the bitter winter wind; blowing over a range of snowy summits to the north; almost flayed the skin from our faces。
I can remember Miss Temple walking lightly and rapidly along our drooping line; her plaid cloak; which the frosty wind fluttered; gathered close about her; and encouraging us; by precept and example; to keep up our spirits; and march forward; as she said; “like stalwart soldiers。” The other teachers; poor things; were generally themselves too much dejected to attempt the task of cheering others。
How we longed for the light and heat of a blazing fire when we got back! But; to the little ones at least; this was denied: each hearth in the schoolroom was immediately surrounded by a double row of great girls; and behind them the younger children crouched in groups; wrapping their starved arms in their pinafores。
A little solace came at tea…time; in the shape of a double ration of bread—a whole; instead of a half; slice—with the delicious addition of a thin scrape of butter: it was the hebdomadal treat to which we all looked forward from Sabbath to Sabbath。 I generally contrived to reserve a moiety of this bounteous repast for myself; but the remainder I was invariably obliged to part with。
The Sunday evening was spent in repeating; by heart; the Church Catechism; and the fifth; sixth; and seventh chapters of St。 Matthew; and in listening to a long sermon; read by Miss Miller; whose irrepressible yawns attested her weariness。 A frequent interlude of these performances was the enactment of the part of Eutychus by some half…dozen of little girls; who; overpowered with sleep; would fall down; if not out of the third loft; yet off the fourth form; and be taken up half dead。 The remedy was; to thrust them forward into the centre of the schoolroom; and oblige them to stand there till the sermon was finished。 Sometimes their feet failed them; and they sank together in a heap; they were then propped up with the monitors’ high stools。
I have not yet alluded to the visits of Mr。 Brocklehurst; and indeed that gentleman was from home during the greater part of the first month after my arrival; perhaps prolonging his stay with his friend the archdeacon: his absence was a relief to me。 I need not say that I had my own reasons for dreading his ing: but e he did at last。
One afternoon (I had then been three weeks at Lowood); as I was sitting with a slate in my hand; puzzling over a sum in long division; my eyes; raised in abstraction to the window; caught sight of a figure just passing: I recognised almost instinctively that gaunt outline; and when; two minutes after; all the school; teachers included; rose en masse; it was not necessary for me to look up in order to ascertain whose entrance they thus greeted。 A long stride measured the schoolroom; and presently beside Miss Temple; who herself had risen; stood the same black column which had frowned on me so ominously from the hearthrug of Gateshead。 I now glanced sideways at this piece of architecture。 Yes; I was right: it was Mr。 Brocklehurst; buttoned up in a surtout; and looking longer; narrower; and more rigid than ever。
I had my own reasons for being dismayed at this apparition; too well I remembered the perfidious hints given by Mrs。 Reed about my disposition; &c。; the promise pledged by Mr。 Brocklehurst to apprise Miss Temple and the teachers of my vicious nature。 All along I had been dreading the fulfilment of this promise;—I had been looking out daily for the “ing Man;” whose information respecting my past life and conversation was to brand me as a bad child for ever: now there he was。
He stood at Miss Temple’s side; he was speaking low in her ear: I did not doubt he was making disclosures of my villainy; and I watched her eye with painful anxiety; expecting every moment to see its dark orb turn on me a glance of repugnance and contempt。 I listened too; and as I happened to be seated quite at the top of the room; I caught most of what he said: its import relieved me from immediate apprehension。
“I suppose; Miss Temple; the thread I bought at Lowton will do; it struck me that it would be just of the quality for the calico chemises; and I sorted the needles to match。 You may tell Miss Smith that I forgot to make a memorandum of the darning needles; but she shall have some papers sent in next week; and she is not; on any account; to give out more than one at a time to each pupil: if they have more; they are apt to be careless and lose them。 And; O ma’am! I wish the woollen stockings were better looked to!—when I was here last; I went into the kitchen…garden and examined the clothes drying on the line; there was a quantity of black hose in a very bad state of repair: from the size of the holes in them I was sure they had not been well mended from time to time。”
He paused。
“Your directions shall be attended to; sir;” said Miss Temple。
“And; ma’am;” he continued; “the laundress tells me some of the girls have two clean tuckers in the week: it is too much; the rules limit them to one。”
“I think I can explain that circumstance; sir。 Agnes and Catherine Johnstone were invited to take tea with some friends at Lowton last Thursday; and I gave them leave to put on clean tuckers for the occasion。”
Mr。 Brocklehurst nodded。
“Well; for once it may pass; but please not to let the circumstance occur too often。 And there is another thing which surprised me; I find; in settling accounts with the housekeeper; that a lunch; consisting of bread and cheese; has twice been served out to the girls during the past fortnight。 How is this? I looked over the regulations; and I find no such meal as lunch mentioned。 Who introduced this innovation? and by what authority?”
“I must be responsible for the circumstance; sir;” replied Miss Temple: “the breakfast was so ill prepared that the pupils could not possibly eat it; and I dared not allow them to remain fasting till dinner…time。”
“Madam; allow me an instant。 You are aware that my plan in bringing up these girls is; not to accustom them to habits of luxury and indulgence; but to render them hardy; patient; self…denying。 Should any little accidental disappointment of the appetite occur; such as the spoiling of a meal; the under or the over dressing of a dish; the incident ought not to be neutralised by replacing with something more delicate the fort lost; thus pampering the body and obviating the aim of this institution; it ought to be improved to the spiritual edification of the pupils; by encouraging them to evince fortitude under temporary privation。 A brief address on those occasions would not be mistimed; wherein a judicious instructor would take the oppor
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